25 Apr 2024

Mummy had to do some Mummy Business so I am resident at one of my Spare Royal Residences. The good news is that the Italian visitor was easily trained in the ways of aerial unicorns.  He presented a talk on his latest research last night, into why stars become red giants. I think he has made a mistake in the density calculation...

And the crazy thing... it seems he would rather play with his stupid Kippenhahn diagrams than throw my fish. I mean, really! And he has the density wrong anyway! Humans...good grief...

17 Mar 2024

So I woke Mummy at about 3am (human time) because of an urgent development. Mum is pretty good, and she realised this was important so she got out of bed. I took her to the kitchen and pointed out that my food bowl was empty, and that I was hungry. Humans communicate in weird ways, but it sounded like she said something about midnight snacks, and then she went back to bed! I may have to increase her training...

22 Feb 2024

Mummy and John weren't paying enough attention to me, so I invented the aerial dig. They filmed it and thought it was very funny... and they started to pay attention to me.

Sometimes a Queen has to be crafty!

26 Jan 2024

There has been some chatter recently about dogs watching television. I do not know what the lesser creatures do with their time. But personally, I am rather fond of Insiders on the ABC. A nice way to spend a Sunday morning. I also quite enjoy Masterchef. The English Masterchef, of course.

22 Jan 2024

I spent the last weekend at one of my Royal Residences. However, the beds there are too small. Mum almost fell out of the bed at one stage. I dunno why she complains! She could have slept on the floor or on my bed...

I may need to persuade the Residence Manager to extend the house so that my Royal Corporealness can have a larger bed to rest in.

5 Jan 2024

Granddad has gone. Clearly this is due to the evil suitcases. Suitcases are the root of all evil. It means people are leaving!

Anyone who manufactures, distributes, or supports the use of these evil things shall be punished by severe nyanging to their treacherous hands.

The removal of suitcase temptation should ensure the movements of humans, both liked and disliked, are restricted to the whims of Her Majesty. That is a much better state of affairs.

26 Dec 2023

Granddad is here!

He materialized...just like that! I think Mum was involved somehow, but the important thing is... HE IS HERE!

29 Oct 2023

My Mother sometimes mocks my sleeping positions. She clearly does not appreciate my creative sleeping habits.

28 Oct 2023

Here is my impression of an upside-down snaggle-toothed snake-eyed vampire dog!

30 Sep 2023

My Mother abandoned me. Albeit at one of my Royal Residences. Fortunately my French house-mate was smart enough to be rapidly trained in servitude.

After about a week Mum returned. She had moved our house again!

Humans are weird.

12 Jun 2023

Humans say that even the darkest cloud has a silver lining.  I am thinking that the reverse is true.

So, being able to open the cupboard myself is a good thing. Mummy always told me to stay away from chocolate and I have  always listened to her. But it just smelled so good!

It was good, too. For a while. Then things went downhill.

I didn't feel very good.

I love my Mummy. She took me to the Nasty Vet, and I am OK now. I don't remember much. I think a labrador must have slipped something into the chocolate. But Queen Minkah is tough and her judgement can be brutal!

I am still a little woozy from the things the Nasty Vet gave me.All bacon donations will be stockpiled until I feel a little better.Please feel free to send bacon.

And nuggets.

For later.

When I return to my normal strength, I shall hunt down the labradors who tried to trick me with chocolate... they shall regret they were born!

I may also take a moment to bite the Nasty Vet. He made my mummy cry...

26 May 2023

Mummy found some pictures of me from my Royal Past. This one is when I was only 3, and I am with my Matron Dog. I miss her. 

And this is when I was just a baby!

I must say, I was very cute. And I have held up extremely well to the ravages of time.

20 May 2023

Why is there a Mars rover in my living room?

19 May 2023

I am experimenting with artistic and symmetrical arrangement of my toys. What do you think? I call this "Pachyderm Cross with Unicorn Crown".

29 April 2023

I have discovered that cottage cheese pleases me and I will start accepting gifts in the form of cottage cheese from today forward.

Preferably supplemented with bacon.

Or chicken nuggets.

Or salmon.

Or all of the above.

22 April 2023

I am learning how to become a people. Mummy lets me sit in her chair at the table and provides pats and hugs for my pleasure. I could get used to being a people. The only thing I can't figure out is, how do you lie down on these things?!

14 April 2023

It is with both pride and a heavy heart that I update you with some news.

The pride comes from the fact that as of today I have discovered how to open the lower cupboard in my primary Royal Residence. This enables me to treat myself to Schmackos whenever required!

However, it does mean that I am announcing the disbandonment of the Queen's Own Cupboard Opening Company. These human members of the OTR have served me well, but they are no longer required. I wish them well for their future.

12 March 2023

Easter is approaching. To celebrate, my Mum got me a bunny! I am now making sure that no-one dares to try to take it from me!

25 Feb 2023

My Mummy is very special. She somehow got me a T-Rex bone! And yes...it is ALL FOR ME!

23 Feb 2023

My Mummy got me a crocodile! It makes a nice change to disembowelling unicorns.

9 Feb 2023

Good news! I have trained the visiting Englishman to throw my Unicorn.